Jay's Zan

Name: dokumegami - poison goddess

Manifestation: A woman who is 5 ft wears a green dress, her hair and eyes are a werid green, bluey color, her hair is long.

Release Phrase: How will you kill, Dokumegami

Family: Poison

Level: shikai

Sealed Zanpaktou: A katana (Look at avatar)

Shikai: The blade of the zanpkatuo changes to a green bluey color.

Shikai Ability: Slowly cause throbbing pain to an opponent or weaken them or slow them down, makes there sense's worse for a short while or any poison Jay has encounterd. Usualy the effects last for 5 posts depending on level if there is an elite it last two posts or one post less, and can easily easily be cured by blasting out sprit presure greater than Jays

Bankai: N/A

Bankai Ability:N/A

Techniques:
Name: Slow death
Effect: After being slashed by Dokumegami target wll feel pain slowly during the fight the more they move around the more pain unless they blast out a great soul preasue than Jay or by simply blocking the attack
Duration and or Cooldown: 5 posts for normal ranks 3 for elites, 6 post cool down

Name: No strenght
Effect:After being slashed by dokumegami the body part that has been slash weakens by 1/3 of there power agian block the attack works and blasting greater soul preasure then Jay wears it off
Duration and or cooldown: same as Slow death

Name: corrosive poison
Effect: This is a mid range attack, by sending a small wave at an target it can melt through most things exept zanpaktuos unless the person is weaker than her, it weakens if there is a lot of spirt presure coming from the opponent, if it is about Jay's level it will weaken a little, if higher the it will weaken so it can only melt through there clothes or skin only for a little bit
Duration or cooldown: 5 post normal ranks, 4 for elites, 6 posts to cooldown

Quote :

Shikai Ability: Slowly cause pain to an opponent or weaken them or slow them down, makes there sense's worse for a short while or any poison Jay has encounterd.

You need to be more specific. Like how much pain? immobilizing pain? Or just throbbing pain? How long is a short while in posts/turns?

Quote :

Effect: Target wll feel pain slowly during the fight the more they move around the more pain unless they blast out a great soul preasue than Jay or by simply blocking the attack
Duration and or Cooldown: 5 posts for normal ranks 3 for elites, 6 post cool down

How do you hit someone with this, just your blade, do they need to be in a certain area?

Quote :

Name: No stregth
Effect: Weakens an opponent by 1/3 of there power agian block the attack works and blasting greater soul preasure then Jay wears it off
Duration and or cooldown: same as Slow death

Again how do you hit with this attack.


All I see wrong is lack of specifics, fix that and you should be good.