Please give a written description for the Zanpakutou manifestation. For myself, an image alone just will not do. As I am the one looking over this, you need go by my standards of expectation. My apologies for the trouble. Hm. I assume this is not complete, now that I look at it, as you have no Shikai description. Of course, moving on to the ability.
Cutting through Hierro like butter is, well, a bit presumptuous. This will all depend on the level of the Arrancar, their power, the hardness of their Hierro, and the strike. Any blade, theoretically, can cut through Hierro. It just depends on the person doing the cutting. Naturally, you can't go around cutting through everything. The blade part, remove that. A blade is a the manifestation of a Shinigami's power, etc. So cutting through that is too much. An Arrancar's blade has been shown to be just as hard as a Shinigami's. They can be broken, just not so easily. Of course you could break a lower level beings weapon much easier. I just don't like that being... there. Fret not; I believe that I understand what you meant. Now, from how I understand it, this is simply increased cutting power, above normal. That's perfectly fine, but I will require you to remove that blade bit, as it's a given that such could happen, and reword the Hierro part for me.
All right, now I'm a bit confused here at what you mean. You say it is covered in the "matter" of a tornado, which I assume you meant to be "manner". Now, I assume, also, that you mean the hydrogen does, the water. Okay, saying that, why does your Zanpakutou do something to light, if it is a water Zanpakutou? If it doesn't have the same properties as regular water, how does it differ? How does it fool the opponent? And if it requires light, will any light do? Or does it have to be good old-fashioned, natural sunlight? Explain these clear images further. This ability seems a bit too vague to me, right now. Besides, if your Zanpakutou's water is as large as a tornado... that would cover your in your entirety, not to mention be too large for a Shikai.
- Quote :
- Rinzentaru Shinkirou - (Mesmerizing Mirage)
Zaquri swings his blade in any manner with water surrounding it. The water then starts to whirl around him in the same manner as it does the Zanpakutou in shikai but the size of the Tornado like whirl is a little smaller than a Tornado ( 7,500 ) and 55 Yards wide. The contents of what's in the tornado can't be made out because it is too blurry and the light reflecting off the water only shows a slightly Black blot Within the water in the same position Zaquri was in. This is an illusion of course, because Zaquri (If dealing with an opponent who isn't extremely fast and able to cut through the Tornado with ease) Is no longer in the said position. He is within the Water being camouflaged by water, he is unable to be seen through this.
Attribute - Invisible
Class - Strategic
Post durations - This Water Tornado lasts only one post after it is created, it dissipates on Zaquri's next post.
Cool down - 6 Posts
The more I look at this, the more it appears to be a water—illusion hybrid element Zanpakutou. While I am uncertain if we allow that kind of thing around here, your element most certainly is not illusion; it is water. So, you can't have your dollar and spend it, too. Pick one, or both. But do fix this Zanpakutou of its dual—properties if you are sticking with only water. And if you pick both, do ask the other staff about it, because I honestly am not sure about whether we are allowed such things. I'll check in on it, though.
Moving on to the actual technique. To me, this just seems like a dramatic, elaborate version of a simple trick of Sleight of Hand. Nothing wrong with illusionary things, of course; but it does concern what I have mentioned above, and whether or not it need be edited depends solely on your choice of element. If you stick with just water; then, yes, it will need to be edited. If not, I see nothing all that wrong with this technique (other than some comma splices, I believe, which I have underlined above for your convenience. Personally, I'd have walled in "of course" with commas as well). Do realize, however, that creating such a large body of water at one time, quickly, will cost you a marginable amount of reiatsu.
My apologies for being too lazy to edit out my previous statements about this, but, as I have now been informed, you may not have a hybrid element; and, as you are not an elite, you may not have two elements, either. So, you have to pick either illusions or water, not both. However, I will finish review of the remaining parts of this application now. That should save us both much time later on.
- Quote :
- Feat
Sen'you Kanso - (Enhanced Meditation)
Zaquri closes his eyes and Takes a deep breath. Doing this helps him relax and his spiritual energy is increased Two fold. Zaquri's other Techniques have their cool down decreased by half only if Zaquri uses this Technique 3 posts in a row continuously without interruption. If used once during a post then it just increases his Spiritual energy Two fold.
Attribute - Enhancement
Class - Reiatsu
Post duration - It takes 3 posts to use it's full effects, but he can use this technique
in one post in which case it only does its original effects.)
When its original effects are used, It lasts for 14 posts. When the
enhanced version is used it lasts for the Entire Topic.
Cool down - The Un-enhanced version Has a 2 post cool down The enhanced version has no cool
Error, as underlined.
This technique doesn't fit in with the element Water. I don't understand how that increases his Reiryoku, so edit this and make it more logical. It needs to make sense. Please make it fit in more with your choice of element, Water, or edit it. For now, this technique is pending approval.
Sigh. The length for which this technique last is far too much... No entire topic lasting, no 14. Lessen it, please, by quite a bit. Understand that your spiritual energy is only increased for as long as this technique is active. I want you to impose a usage limit on this, like how many times you can use it per thread. Make it once. It's far too overpowered, otherwise.
- Quote :
- Shikai
Kido Enhancement
While in Shikai state, Zauris Kido is enhanced slightly so that they do damage equal to the power of a kido with the incantation.
Attribute- Enhancement
Class- Passive/Reiatsu
Post duration- It starts When Kenjikoutou releases Shikai and ends when he uses Bankai or reverts back to his reverted state.
Cool down- N/A
You have misspelled your name, and used incorrect possessive form, as underlined above.
I will allow no passive techniques that do not have an ending time. For example, a technique may last several points, with reason, but it may not be a constantly-active technique. Regardless of whether or not it ends with Bankai or Sealed State, I won't allow that. Besides, you currently have no Bankai, so that really have no bearings on this yet. Further, your Zanpakutou is neither a Reiatsu type, nor is a Kidou type, making this entire technique denied for obvious reasons already stated.
Hm. Fix all the problems I have stated and then I'll have another look and we'll see what we can do with this. Also, you seem to have used a template that is not our own. I just now noticed this. How careless of me. Well, please conform this application to Bleach Online's template as soon as possible.
I think that about covers it.
Thu Dec 10, 2015 8:47 pm by 
