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 Sierpe (Finished)

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AuthorMessage
Javier




Posts : 4
Points : 10
Join date : 2009-07-18

Sierpe (Finished) Empty
PostSubject: Sierpe (Finished)   Sierpe (Finished) I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 19, 2009 12:06 am

Name:
Sangre Sierpe (Blood Snake)

Release Phrase:
Initial Release-Wake Up, Sierpe
Ressurection-Slither, Sierpe

Represent:
Snake

Element:
Wind

Sealed Description:
When sealed, Sierpe takes the form of a 8 ft long katana. The blade is completely black with the exception of the center which has a faint, white outline of a curled up snake. On the sides of the blade, markings resembling tendrils reach inward towards the snake and are etched along the sides of the blade until the handguard, which is where it stops. The handguard is dark green and is hexogonal in shape. The hilt of the katana is 2 ft long (which includes the handguard which is 6 inches wide), dark green, and is made of tear drop patterns. Attached to the end of the hilt a 6 inch, black ribbon hangs loosely. The ribbon serves no purpose in fighting....or does it? No it really doesn't but it does add cool points.

Initial Release:
Appearance
In the Intial Release, the change in appearance from its Sealed state hardly changes. The weapon still would be in katana form and still be 8 ft long. The blade would still be black, but the once curled up snake in the center of the blade would have changed. The snake would have uncurled and would have seemed to have straightend out. The tendrils reaching in would still be reaching in. The handguard and hilt would still be the same as it was in its previous state.

Abilities
Besides the increase in speed, strength, and reiatsu, in this state Javier can use his Intial Ability without even touching a surface. I mean that he can simply imagine a snake being created out of the surface and then there it is. It is also in this state he can begin to manipulate the air around his immediate self.

Released Description:
Appearance
In the released Ressurrecion, a large amount of darkness errupts from around Javier and the quickly returns and wraps itself around Javier. When the dark reiatsu fades, it reveals Javier wearing a hooded robe made of dark green snakeskin. When Javier removes the snakeskin hood from over his face, his hair grows long and turns black, while his eyes turn black and gain dark green slits in them to resemble eyes of a snake. His teeth also change into sharp fangs.

Other than his face, Javier's body also takes some changes. Javier's skin turns somewhat paler. If Javier was to roll up the sleeves on the robe, it would reveal that both his arms were skeletal like, but were covered in black reiatsu. If the front of the robe was to open up, no bones would be seen, but his black tank top and newly aquired baggy, black jeans could be seen.

As for his weapon, Javier will open his mouth and pull out a 15 ft long, bone whip. Javier can use the whip, or "snap" it into its true form of a skeletal spear. In both states, the entire weapon is made of old snake bones that are chipped and spiked to not only create damage on contact, but also rip the skin afterwards. At the opposite end of the weapon are skeletal chains. The chains are made of the same substance as the main weapon, but can be used to "whip" the opponent by simply turning the weapon around.

Abilities
Besides the increase in speed,strength, and reiatsu, Javier has begun to use snake-like abilities such as Infrared sensing (detect heat sources) and Venomous spit (spit poison). It is also in this final state that Javier can show his matery of his element of the wind. He will not only be able to control the wind around his immediate self as in his Initial State, but within 10 meters.


Innate Ability:
Creacion del Serpiente (Serpent Creation)

The ability allows him to turn whatever he touches or sees into a snake through mere contact of his hand or weapon. These snakes are usually formed from the shape of lines from any material or object (such as pipes, ropes and cracks on roads) into snakes. The amount of snakes created are limitless and are entirely controlled by Javier. These familiar snakes are commonly used to ensnare, attack and defend, if they are cut or otherwise destroyed they return to their base materials.

Ultimate Ability/Attack:
Precinto Sierpe (Snake Seal)

Javier gains the ability to create seals all around an area that he and his opponent are standing. The ability is considered as his absolute barrier. These seals disappear and reappear wherever his enemy steps causing massive pillars of snakes to appear like spikes from the ground, stabbing and biting the enemy. This is presumed to be a trap-like ability to narrow the field of battle and give the enemy only two options: attack or retreat. The Snake Seal also acts as a sensory detector allowing Javier or the snakes produced by the Snake Seal to react and counterattack at a moment's notice to any perceived threat to Javier.


Techniques:
1)Colmillo de Muerte(Death Fang)
A more intense technique used by Javier. The technique is more of a mid-long range attack that requires for Javier to channel some reiatsu into his weapon and then in a slashing motion, release it. The energy released is actually high powered wind filled with reiatsu that takes the shape of a huge set of fangs that will create a large explosion once hitting an object.

2)Viento Mortal (Deadly Winds)
By using his weapon in a slashing motion, Javier can send waves of wind at a target. The winds would be classified as F3 tornados (158-206 mph). This would also mean it is capable of destruction of buildings, heavy objects and what not. When used, 3 winds are sent at a time. After each use, this technique's cool down of 3 turns will kick in.

3)Piel de Serpiente Hierro (Snakeskin Hierro)
This technique will allow Javier to shed from his body, removing all damage done to the body such as physical damage (cuts, bleeding, etc.) as well as internal damage (posion, internal bleeding, etc.). After each use, Javier is vunerable to double damage from attacks for 2 turns until he is capable of using the technique again.
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PostSubject: Re: Sierpe (Finished)   Sierpe (Finished) I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 19, 2009 11:08 am

Ok. Well first of all i'm going to nit pick this apart. The Initial Release does not give you an ability so take that out. Your Released Description is only what you look like, it does not give you an ability, take that one out as well. Secondly, your Techniques: . Ah, where to begin. Let's start with Colmillo de Muerte, not only do you need a cooldown and usage limits for this before the cooldown begins, but also I fail to see how the wind would cause an explosion. Elaborate on this, does it use the oxygen in the air? Or how does that happen, be more descrptive. Next. Viento Mortal's cooldown should be much higher, and you should also have a limit to how much you can use it. as for Piel de Serpiente Hierro, no just no. Removing all damage and internal damage is so overpowered, that it actually makes me sick to think about it. Piel de Serpiente Hierro is denied so remove it completely, it is way to OP.
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